Dear Vegetarians: You are killing us all

Stop being so selfish vegetarians. Think of your fellow planet-mates – the plants and animals in the world. If you keep on this course, they will all be dead. It will be your fault. Ever hear of greenhouse gases? Of course you have – you love people like Al Gore. What about methane? Hear about that one? Did you hear about how methane is a more potent greenhouse gas than CO2? Did you know that 51% of greenhouse gas emissions are methane? Do you know where 18% of that comes from? Livestock flatulence. What? Flatulence? Seriously? YES. The dinosaurs farted themselves into oblivion. Cow farts will kill us all.

You might be thinking that by not eating meat, you are helping to lower the amount of livestock. Supply and demand right? WRONG. If everyone became vegetarian overnight, cows would not disappear. Do you suggest that we kill the cows? You’re sick. To suggest that we should kill innocent animals and not use their meat is wrong. Animal Hater.Do you want to kill animals? No, the only reasonable thing to do is to eat MORE meat. Stop flatulence. Because, dead cows can’t fart.